Onna Chance

What Type of Villain are You?

Okay.. First off, no, I don't think you're a villain. Or maybe you are. I don't know you. But hey, who cares, this quiz is supposed to be for fun. So think of it that way. Fun. FUN. Now chant with me... "Faith is not a psychologist.. I'm going to laugh when I take this quiz.. I'm not going to take the results seriously.."

There. I knew you could do it. Now be careful when you press that button at the bottom; sometimes it tends to wipe your memory.

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Let's run through a typical day!

1. You wake up. [ooh. ahh.] The first thing you do after rolling out of bed is...
hit the floor. Good job.
eat a liesurely breakfast, while reading up on the stock market. Or the comics.
cheerfully slip on some work clothes.
...bed?
check to see what your victi-.. er.. friends are up to.
pack everything into your car to drive to the next motel later.
call a meeting with your henchmen to discuss business as usual.
... brush your teeth?
...wouldn't you like to know..

2. Well, breakfast is wonderful.. except for the throwing knife that somehow imbedded itself into your coffee cup. You...
move the cup and hope they hit your head next time, so you can call in dead to work.
determine its trajectory from the angle and the depth it sank in your cup, and promptly throw it back.
pocket the knife, and try not to let it spoil your good mood.
break the rest of the cup with your hand [in case anyone is watching], and stalk toward the bushes to find out who the wise-ass was.
..ohh.. THAT'S where it landed...
shoot a round of ammo in the knife thrower's direction for safety's sake, and leave without your breakfast.
gripe about how hard it is to replace good china, and inform your henchmen that you lost your appetite.
freak out and cry "Who's there?!"
add it to your collection of sharp, pointy objects.

3. Eventually, you drive to work. It's long and boring and full of traffic jams. Halfway there, your favorite tape gets eaten by the tape player. You...
might cry, if you had any emotion left.
dismantle the tape player.. and build a faster, better tape player.
grit your teeth and stuff the tape in your pocket, with the throwing knife.
blow up the car. Walk to work.
climb into someone's backseat, hide, and hitch a ride to work. [not that it really solved your dilemma, but wasn't it fun when they freaked out?]
abandon the car. Steal another car. Better safe than dead...
are just having a rough day, aren't you? You get Joe to tap-dance on the hood of the car, and feel slightly better when a bridge hits him.
eat the tape. Hey, at least it didn't go to waste...
are just glad you memorized everything before the tape was destroyed.

4. You made it to work. [that was hard, wasn't it?] After five minutes of relaxing non-traffic-related problems, someone asks you to print a document. But when you hit the print button, the printer jams. You...
put the possessed machine out of its misery.
fix it.. so good, in fact, that it can do your entire job. Faster than you.
begin to plot the destruction of your superiors.
now have a crispy printer. And a new office policy that ensures the safety of other printers from you.
re-write the document, using magazine cut-outs.
throw the printer out a window, and duck under a desk. Those printer-bombs are rampant...
wonder what made them think you knew anything about printers, anyway.
fight with the evil paper-spewer for several minutes, until it finally shuts itself off. Just to spite you.
implant a device to spontaneously combust the printer if it ever messes with you again.

5. After the printer incident, you relax for another five minutes... Until someone else hands you something to copy. Seems simple enough. You click the copy button. The copy machine eats your paper, and spews weird symbols at you. You...
wonder what you did this time.
fix it. Somehow. Although now it seems to watch people with its beady, digital eyes...
find a large marker and copy the weird symbols all over the stupid machine. That'll teach it.
... let's just say... there is no longer a copy machine.
leave it for the next person to deal with.
wonder if it's in league with the printer.
yank the wad of paper out and beat the nearest person with it.
call someone to repair it, and find a corner to hide in until the day gets better.
think it must be a code of some sort.. and spend the rest of the day trying to decipher it.

6. After the printer and copier incidents, your boss, for whatever reason, gets angry and fires you. You...
would feel bad. Maybe. Except that nothing really matters anymore.
take your enhanced machines, and decide to make a profit selling them on the black market.
yell something to the effect of "YOU'LL LIVE TO REGRET THIS!!"
blow up the building.
are surprisingly good-natured about it. ...Three days later, your boss finds a letter of magazine clippings on his desk, saying "I know what you did last Friday."
come back that night and delete all records of your working there. Change your name. Grow a mustache.
take the money you embezzled, and purchase a small island, carving your secret lair in the side of a mountain.
cry, whine, whimper, complain... and finally get another job. Flipping burgers.
destroy all evidence of your failure.

7. You are somewhat depressing and hateful of the world, a few days after getting fired. After awhile, your friend convinces you it might be a good idea to take over the world. You...
aren't really the leader type.
inform him you'd already been planning to.
say that's a great idea! ..but you have someo- er.. thing, to take care of first.
decide you'd rather blow up a small continent. Or something.
smile and nod, while shredding more magazines and taping pieces of them to paper.
start running background checks on your friends.
pretend it was your idea.
wonder how your friend ever made it through high school.
string him along on how great it would be... keeping your real job a secret.

8. Well, your friend informs you that every good world power has to start with a well-thought-out plan. You think for awhile, and decide to...
stop listening to your friend. The world is probably safer without you as a leader.
start an underground crime-ring that worms its way into the pockets of every person on earth, while leaving no trace of its origins.
frame your boss for the murder of half his employees. And the sexual harrassment of a rubber duck.
take over the world. Yawn. These people need a good leader anyway, and who better for the position?
stop thinking. Who cares. Besides, freaking people out is easier.
stay away from this.. "friend."
build a laser.
grow boneless chickens.
sell the information you've gathered from several employers working as a double agent to the many interested buyers on the black market, and collect a small fortune.

9. Whether or not you decided to take over the world, you've had a rough week. Yesterday, some obnoxious hero you'd never seen before decided to kill your trusted friend - and you hadn't done anything to him [directly]! You...
have few qualms about killing him slowly. "An eye for an eye" and stuff.
send several of your best men to ensure his demise. And demand proof.
just can't catch a break.. It's not like you were at fault, here! Your ex-boss fired you. It's all his fault.
blow him up.
divert your threatening letters to him as well, and occasionally freak him out by leaving a dead animal in his closet.
get pissed. Trusted friends are hard to come by. That one took seven months of background checks and two or three tests of loyalty to finally trust.
send one man in a turban to finish him off, and casually forget about it.
ask him what could possibly be wrong with putting clothes on poultry. And stick a paper target on his back as he walks away.
meet with the hero, and explain your secret job at the.. eh.. Federal Bureau of Investigation. Assure him it would be to his benefit to stay out of the Bureau's affairs.

10. You're implementing the most intregal part of your master plan, when suddenly, that obnoxious hero pops up again! This time he looks pissed. You...
confront him, and tell him to leave before you destroy the building with both of you in it.
invite him to watch. There's nothing he can do about it anyway.
spring the trap you made just for him! And then laugh. Maniacally. While dangling his trusty sidekick from one rope and your boss from another rope, and taunting him to choose.
make sure to blow him off a cliff this time, slightly frustrated that your last ki blast didn't kill him. But surely this one did!
try to strike a deal with him.. and strangle him at the last moment.
aren't there. But your decoy seems pretty frightened.
tie him up, tell him your secret plans, and conveniently leave, five minutes before the rope lowers him to his doom in a pit of gigantic, vicious fruit loops.
make up some excuse about the Gettysburg address and a water balloon, that succeeds in confusing him long enough for you to escape.
flash a fake FBI badge and radio for backup on a plastic walkie-talkie.. hoping he'll get scared and leave.


11. Oh no! The hero [for the third stinking time] suddenly pops up out of nowhere, and has you at a disadvantage! He fights with you until you are at his mercy. Then he ties you up and informs you you're going to prison. [Well, at least he didn't kill you.] You...
acknowledge your predicament, but wish he had just killed you. Because you really don't want to kill him anymore.
assure him that you own the police.. and he'll be the one suffering when they get there.
scream something along the lines of "YOU'LL LIVE TO REGRET THIS!!" [disregarding the fact that screaming that probably got you into this mess.]
easily escape, blow the building and the hero [for the third time] up, and confidently walk away. Because he can't possibly have survived your wrath three times in a row.
break the hero's will with your best sob story, until he finally unties you. Then take one last 'stab' at him.
came prepared with lock-picks. And a razor under your tongue. And p-... Eh... You escape.
take off in your private jet at the last minute [nevermind how you got away], and laugh evilly as you begin to think up a new world-domination plan.
cry about how subliminal messages aren't really a felony..
strike a deal with the police when they get there, who are convinced you work for the government.