Onna Chance

War

1. The easy way is always mined.
2. Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.
3. When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.
4. War does not determine who is right. War determines who is left.
5. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
6. "A slipping sear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit."
   - PS magazine
7. Gulf War Lite: High in accomplishments, with 2/3 fewer casualties than your regular war!
8. Having failed to conquer myself, the best hope now is to arrange an alliance with myself.
9. In the event of war, I'm a hostage.
10. It is not known with what weapon World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
11. Military Intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
12. Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire.
13. When in doubt, empty your magazine.
14. Never forget your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.
15. If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.
16. All 5 second grenade fuses burn down in 3 seconds
17. Try to look unimportant, the bad guys may be low on ammo.
18. The enemy diversion you were ignoring was the main attack.
19. When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
20. If the enemy is in range, so are you.
21. Things that must be together to work cannot usually be shipped together.
22. Everything you do can get you shot, including nothing.
23. Tracers work both ways.
24. Make it tougher for the enemy to get in, and you can't get out.
25. Professional soldiers are predictable, but the world is full of amateurs.
26. Fighting for peace is like having sex for virginity.
27. Friendly fire isn't.
28. If it's stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.
29. If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short.
30. The enemy attacks on two occasions: When he's ready, and when you're not.
31. If at first you don't succeed, call an air strike.
32. Shoot first, shoot later, shoot again, then when everyone's dead, try to ask a question or two.
33. When I was in the military they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one.
34. It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.
35. A Purple Heart just proves that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
36. A Purple Heart proves three things:  you were smart enough to think of a plan, dumb enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
37. Claymores are labeled "This Side Towards Enemy" for a reason.
38. Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever, ever volunteer to do anything.
39. It is generally unadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.
40. Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
41. The quartermaster has only two sizes:  too large and too small.
42. POW? Aren't they ALL POWs? I mean, they can't very well turn around and leave.

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