Onna Chance

School

  1. Hookt aun Fonix reelie wurkt fur mee!
  2. The school should pay me to skip class. Call it a "tuition refund" if you will.
  3. College would be great if it weren't for all the classes.
  4. I’m failing geometry because I refuse to believe that pie are squared.
  5. Someone died of a brain aneurism today while taking a standardized test. The last thing anyone saw him do was stand up, pull all his hair out and yell, “ABACADABA!! ABACADABA!!!!”
  6. Today in English we learned absolutely nothing about killing mockingbirds.
  7. I think I’ll skip English tomorrow. There are just certain aspects of Moby I don’t want to know about.
  8. Our school is very low-budgeted; our physics book is so out of date the last chapter deals with combustion.
  9. Today in Art class we were going to paint a nude model, but the teacher sent her to the office for violating dress code.
  10. They recently changed the dress code at our school; we now must all wear brown hooded smocks and white masks. Another rule was added that all students must talk through electronic voice scramblers.
  11. The school board decided to remove speech and debate from the course schedule; there was no argument.
  12. Pencils and pens are now illegal on school campus; this was made law after a student successfully proved that a sharpened pencil was, in fact, a weapon.
  13. School is just an elaborate plot by vampires to obtain the blood of teenagers through periodic blood-drives.
  14. The Bible Studies course has been recently changed to “Theories in Mass Hypnosis 101.” Surprisingly no one seems to have noticed.
  15. Do I get extra marks if I correct the exam questions?
  16. There is life, and then there is summer.
  17. I got kicked out of wood working for not wearing my safety goggles while sawing off another kids left arm.
  18. Making an easy fifty ain't too easy when the kid tells the teacher you stole his wallet.
  19. It has been discovered that ham CAN live inside a locker.
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